Languages

On Tumblr there is a blog I really like but some of her posts are in Spanish. And I don’t speak Spanish and I don’t know what they mean. I could learn Spanish but I suck at learning languages. 

In the first year of high school I thought I was pretty good at languages so I choose four of them. English, German, France and Latin. I also had Dutch but that’s obvious. 

After a year I dropped Latin because I didn’t understand it. In the second year I found out that I wasn’t at good at languages than I thought. I struggled with grammar especially with France grammar. I think France is a beautiful language but it’s too difficult for me. I dropped it in my fourth year. 

Now I only have German and English. German is not a really difficult language because it looks a little bit like Dutch. My grades are not really high but they are good. When it comes to speaking German it’s a disaster. I can’t find the right words to say and there are long breaks between words because I’m thinking about which word I should use. Speaking English is also not one of my strong points. 

When there is no pressure and I’m speaking to myself (yes I talk a lot to myself. Because sometimes I want to hear a professional opinion.  Haha no it makes my mind clear and it’s restful.) it goes really smoothly. But when the teacher asks me something I don’t know what to say and I feel ashamed because my English isn’t as good as my fellow students. Last week I was in Greece and if someone said something to me in English I got very nervous and didn’t know what to say. 

I think it’s some kind of performance anxiety. I really hope it passes by. Like we say in Dutch: ‘Taal is zeg maar niet mijn ding (say language is not my thing)’.

xoxo Naomi

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